There is something comforting about learning that there is a term to describe/define something within you. This is not always true but is often true. Many who experience persistent symptoms of some kind of mental illness for years are often somewhat relieved when they realize that their collection of symptoms fit into a broader category of a diagnosis. This means that there has been a notable amount of study, understanding, and perhaps even created some sort of treatment that has proven at least marginally effective. It also gives language to an otherwise indescribable set of experiences. Labeling certainly has its downsides too but I often find that it is perceived more positively.
Thus this is the background of the subject of spiritual bypassing, a term coined by John Welwood in 1984. In short spiritual bypassing is the act of using a spiritual practice or spiritual discipline to avoid a challenging, troubling, or difficult internal emotional conflict or psychological problem. In short it is the act of using acts of faith as an excuse to not confront ourselves. I’ve heard this also described as “Using God to run from [the will/commands of] God” by Peter Scazzero in his book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality.
When someone is stepping into their own deconstruction/reconstruction process, they often find a world of hidden emotions and thoughts they’d never consciously come across before. But as they explore these emotions they realize its not they are new emotions, rather it is the first time that they’ve been able to acknowledge dignify them with undivided attention. And this process is absurdly scary. Faith practices that once kept them safe from their emotions are no longer there to protect them. However upon stepping into these waters, many find that these emotions, once sat with and understood, are not something to be saved from. Rather they are daunting gateways to wonderful life-changing truths.
To choose to end the act of spiritual bypassing is hard. But remember you are never alone when it comes embracing change. Be prepared though to find repressed traumas, deep wounds, and painful memories as you are delaminating yourself from pre-prescribed narratives. And the best way to be prepared is to find a group of people who support you, love you, and accept you as you move through these waters regardless of what may happen.
*Photo by Alexander Paul