There is a lot of things that people tell you when you tell them that you suffer from anxiety. They will offer tips to manage anxiety or maybe if you are lucky they will give you an “I’m sorry” response. But it seems like no one ever talks about the legitimacy of anxiety. This is to say: to be human is be anxious - at least about some things some of the time.
There is something good in us that pronounces anxiety to be felt emotionally. It is typically there to connect us to the moment and to help us feel alive (sometimes a sign that what we are doing is worth doing). Anxiety lets us know that our work and actions have significance and value. Anxiety reminds us that we are meaningful and important, even if we feel otherwise. When anxiety is felt without this existential backdrop, this is when deeper problems with anxiety occur. So I want to offer a few quick starting points for understanding you and your own anxiety.
- When anxiety is not present or at least not strong, spend some time doing some self-reflection. How do you feel about yourself when you are not being mischaracterized by anxiety? Are you a more lovable person when you are not anxious? Do your feelings matter less or more when anxiety is not present? Ask yourself: what if I actually am just as lovable and valuable with anxiety as I am without anxiety.
- What do you reach out to when anxiety strikes? What core beliefs about yourself do you cling to when you are having an anxiety attack?
- What thoughts tend to be present exclusively when you are fighting anxiety? Are these thoughts true or just conditionally true?
- What do those that are close to you think about your anxiety and the messages it tells you? Do they see a truth that is different? Could their viewpoint actually be correct?
Understanding and fighting our anxiety begins with how we see ourselves. To fight anxiety is to fight a negatively-bent, jaded perspective. If you fight this alone, this perspective wins out and the only way to move forward is to let others in and to believe their words.